HARMATTAN ALERT: What you MUST know!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Harmattan Season, the time of the year when you get to be reminded by your friends that you need to hustle tight and buy a car to avoid dust baths. If you have a car, then you must be up and doing with the penance of car washing. I can only feel pity for your house girl or boy or gate man bcos they have themselves, maybe your children and certainly your car to bath and maybe add some cream.....to maintain integrity. Please make up your mind, buy enough rags and bucket so that by regularly cleaning the dusty rooms without Complaints, you can win some Christmas goodies from Oga and Madam.

Let me remind you also that in this season, African star apple (aka Udara) and Apollo are very common features around, so apply caution. Take lots of water and avoid wounds because in this season, "malaria dey learn work where Bacteria dey" 

For Babes, avoid sleeping over in Bobo's room. If you like sing J Martins' song "touching body" through out the night, nothing will save you. For married couples, like St Paul will say, Hold fast to the teachings you have received from your Family Planning instructors. September is already crowded with birthdays and Nigeria is getting over populated. 

For our sisters, please bear with us when you find us robbing lip gloss and maybe lipsticks just to keep the lips greased, we promise not to go beyond that... We no go drag Brazilian (+Peruvian, Indian, Ghanaian, Human, etc-an) hair S/ pad, G-s..., Br*, Heels (except Denrele), etc with una. Una strong pass us. 

To our grand mother, please apply your Robb and Aboniki with caution because some of us will continue to enter keke, bus and taxi with you till we buy our own. The fight is against Harmattan not against our choking nose. 

For my very Dark friends, this is a time to respect our albino brothers and sisters who do not need to clean their faces regularly, because for you, cleaning becomes inevitable lest children inscribe "wash me"  on your face. 

Anyway, on a serious note, catarrh season is here, so buy your handkerchiefs and goggles against Apollo and the likes... For my Igbo Brethren, our red sand and dust are waiting to welcome us in the village. Hope you have been well informed by this piece...  

...to be continued!